Before I begin, I just want to say "thank you" to a special lady Sarita, who is an inspiration to me and all who meet her. I will never forget you as long as I live. God Bless you, Sarita.

Well to begin, I guess I should tell you a little about myself, I am Amy Goldthorn, I am deaf from my birth. In my story, you have to understand my relationship with my dad. He is not just a regular dad he is a best friend. A kind of person that you can tell anything. When I was little, dad carried me everywhere with him, he doctored my scrapes, comforted me when I was sick, and told me I was his baby girl every day. We would go to the park and he would push me on the swings for hours, he would teach me how to talk with my hands. I went to school for this, but so did he. and he was better at it than me at that time.

One day he had to go out of town and was gone for 3 days. This was the longest I had ever been away from him, and I did not deal well with it. Haha when I clam up I do a good job at it. Anyway. when he returned Mom told him about my not talking for the last 2 days so daddy took me to our special place at the park and told me that he would not ever leave me because he loved me to much. He promised me that he would never leave me any longer than that and that it was hard for him too. Never the less he was back. so I was happy. Several years past and my bond grew even stronger than it ever had been before. We were now riding horses, camping, shopping to make things short, we just did everything together. Mom was here and she did a lot with us, but mostly it was just him and I.

Then it happened, Dad started to be out late every day, and often came home after I was asleep. He was going to school at night and working in the day. We slowly seemed to be drifting apart from one another in the few months, and he was going to truck driving school. When he did come home he was tired and I would seem to get on his nerves a lot. He even spank me one time, and he never spank me before but I deserved it! That's another story though, and I'm not telling it to you. Mom started taking me to do the things we had done together like the shopping and stuff. Until the day that dad had to let his other job go and start driving the truck. Why he changed jobs is a long story too, but I wont get into that, because I do not understand about all that much. It finally was the day that he was leaving to go over the road, but up to this point no one really told me what to expect. Daddy left and was gone for 3 months despite his promise to me. He did call from time to time but it was usually late when I was asleep so I didn't get to talk to him much. We have a TTY phone if your wondering how I can talk on the phone. Anyway. I don't know why I acted the way I did, but I stopped talking all together. even to mom, because I was so hurt that he left like that, after he promised he would never. I went several months to where it was just so easy to just not talk at all, in fact, I kinda felt like I forgot how. Even when dad would come home, I did not talk to him. I would spend time with him, what time we had like a day or 2, but I would never talk. and he would get upset with me. and so I got even more upset. Never upset a deaf girl hahaha! Momma finally took me to a counselor who knew sign language. She tried for some time to get me to talk. until she gave up and just would talk to me.

Anyway, after time I started to kinda like my counselor, cause she did not ask me to talk anymore, but I started to a little but oh that was a mistake, she expected it all the time then. It was hard at first and at one point I really wanted to talk. but just could not get myself to do it but finally started to. When I did start talking to her she would put words in my mouth and tell me I was feeling one way when I was not. and I was getting very upset about this. 2 years we went back and forth, back and forth. Until one day something special happened. Mom decided to let me chat in the christian chat room, where I met Sarita. She seemed to understand me and how I felt, and it was so easy to talk to her, because I could not see her and we could type to each other like we were using our mouths to talk. I started talking to her a lot and she told me many stories and never made me talk when I didn't want to about something. She talked to me about God a lot, and how he understands what I need. But at that time I didn't tell her, but I had been praying for a longtime for dad to come home and stay home, because I just knew he left cause of me, and liked his work more than he did me. I even at one point decided God was not listening to me, and I was getting mad at him too. Sarita changed all that and we prayed together, and she talked to my mom a lot about stuff. Yes, Sarita, I'm gonna tell about me sneaking out of bed hahaha. Sarita likes to tell that story for some reason. Sarita helped me when I got in trouble at gymnastics, cause I pushed a girl, and also when I tried to hit my mom. I won't try to hit mom ever again, I can promise you that! Anyway, Sarita helped me to understand things and even helped my mom too. I don't know what all they talked about, but Sarita saved some of our conversations and sent them to my mom..

Ok, I'm gonna shorten this now, cause my fingers are starting to hurt.. Mom read the stuff Sarita sent to her to my dad, and he said he was coming home, and he did. It took him 2 days but he came, and he held me for a longtime, and he told me he was sorry and that he loved me and he held me again and again and I started to talk to him and we talked and we talked, and I told him how I felt, and he said he did not know that was why I was having all the problems. He said he knew that was some of it, but did not realize just how much. And again he said he was sorry, and I did to. He even cried, and I never had seen him do that before. He was gonna quit, but after a few days mom and him decided not to quit yet, but to take me with him and do my school on the truck, and we did. It was the best time of my life, cause it was just me and him. I don't see the counselor anymore, and I talk a lot again. I don't have accidents at night near like I did, and I think I'm almost over that for good almost. Well, that is the short version of my story, but it should be enough for who ever reads it to know, that there is a moral!!!! God does answer prayers, but he does them in his own time, when he knows it to be best, and he knows what you need all the time, and always where you are. God answered my prayers through Sarita, who is my best friend now in the adventist chat room. I hope I get to meet her and stay the summer with her sometime.

update

Now i have made many new friends in the ablazenet chatrooms I have not gone to adventest chat room in a longtime because Sarita has not been there in a very longtime i pray for her all the time.

I am so Blessed to have so many new friends God has given me another gift and that is the gift of expression, I hope one day I will be able to share my lifes story with other deaf children and tell them about Jesus.

This is my dream.

I will write about what it is like riding on a 18 wheel truck next.
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Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so