The Bible loudly proclaims that “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16). It does not state that God encompasses love or even demonstrates love, although this is what He does over and over again in the very life of His children. It states that He is love itself – the very essence and embodiment of all that is, was, and ever will be considered true and genuine love.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines loves as a “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.” Often this “strong affection” is based on personal qualities, looks, or even sexual attraction. We love other people, or we say we love other people, when we are attracted to them and when they make us feel good. Our earthly loves and passions are not only conditional, but may also be capricious. We love based on feelings and emotions that can change from one moment to the next. This can be evidenced by the high divorce rate in the United States, even among believers.

We read God’s demonstration of true, unconditional love in the familiar words of John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Therefore, one way God defines love is in the act of giving. God sacrificed His only Son so that we, who put our faith in His Son, will not spend eternity separated from Him. This is an amazing love, because we are the ones who choose to be separated from God through our own sin, yet it is God who mends the separation through His intense personal sacrifice, and all we have to do is accept His gift. The Word further exemplifies this love in Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” In these verses we find no conditions placed upon God’s love for us. God wants us to know that His love is unconditional, so He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us while we were still unlovable sinners. We didn't have to get clean, and we didn't have to make any promises to God before we could experience His love. His love for us has always existed, and because of that, He did all the giving and sacrificing long before we were even aware that we needed His love.

Biblical counseling must follow the vein of scriptural truth and seek to minister the love of the true and living God. It is only through this love that sin can be eradicated and lawlessness can be replaced with obedience. The one being counseled must know the genuine and unadulterated love of a heavenly Father who will sacrifice for his care and healing. The love of God actually demolishes self-esteem and the lust for self-esteem. It produces, instead, a great and grateful esteem for the Son of God, who loved us and gave His life for us — the Lamb of God who alone is worthy. The love of God does not meet our lust to be loved as we are. It demolishes that deluded craving in order to love us despite who we are and to teach us to love God and our neighbor.